I love to sleep

When I picked up my Ambien prescription, I got this information sheet and I thought it was funny so I am posting it. By the way, I love Ambien and even if I did any of these crazy things I wouldn’t tell my doctor or he would stop giving it to me. Gosh, then how would I sleep. I can just imagine calling my him to report an Ambien episode. I think he would tell me to call back when I had a REAL medical situation.

My favorite thing on here is page two where it lists possible side effects. DROWSINESS. Really?

I will admit to a lack of memory about what I do after I have taken a pill. Emerson did report that I talked in my sleep one night with a crazy request and I have left facebook posts without remembering.

So if I call you in the middle of the night or leave you a strange text, just remember, it’s not really me. Just one thought, if I drive to your house in an Ambien state, feel free to report me to my Doctor.

Firearm

Ok, tonight we had some customers that literally drove me insane. Rachel asked me a couple of times if I needed to polish the knives which was referring to my comment about wanting to stab myself and say "I am bleeding now and I have to leave and go to the hospital." (Picked that up from Sheldon.) Thankfully, Rachel took over for me or else I might have "lost it".

These people were from England and were making the somewhat simple decision of choosing a kokopelli pendant. I mean really, does it matter if the koko looks like he has little boots on his feet or maybe the one without the little boots looks like he is kicking up his feet more so he must be happier than the one with the boots. The pendants are only about an inch tall so who in the crap will even notice? This went on for about 45 minutes. Then after making the arduous decision of getting the one with the better detail (all the little kokos in their price range look the same to me, so I have no idea what they were talking about when they said that) they then had to choose a chain. We are talking about a chain that cost eight to fifteen dollars, not some 14K gold fancy thing and they could NOT make a decision.


This is about when I escaped to the shoes and let Rachel deal with them. The lady finally asked her if we could hold the two chains for 24 hours while she THOUGHT about it. You have got to be kidding!

Isn’t the exchange rate for the pound like double our dollar? Wouldn’t you think if you could afford a trip to the United States, you wouldn’t sweat a ten dollar chain which would only be five dollars if you figured in the exchange rate.

Is it legal to carry a firearm that is not concealed? I wonder if customers would take 45 minutes to pick out a one inch kokopelli if I had a gun on my hip. Just a thought. Hmmmm. I think I will have to check into this.

NICE, who needs it!

I don’t like being labeled as "nice". It’s just too hard to live up to. Someone who is under the impression that I am nice might catch a glimpse of me doing something not so nice and then what? I think it is ok if you say to me, "That was a nice thing to do." Calling my action nice is ok. Calling me nice is not ok. I like being called funny. I would hope to be able to live up to that label, but that’s the only term I can tolerate.

Reasons I am not nice -

Nice people don’t swear.
Nice people don’t make fun of other people.
Nice people like kids.
Nice people perform random acts of kindness.
Nice people don’t talk too much about themselves.
Nice people aren’t happy when someone gets what they deserve.
Nice people think of others first.
Nice people don’t hope the neighbor’s dog chokes on a chicken bone.
Nice people say they are happy for you and actually mean it.
Nice people are good sports.
Nice people don’t make their kids fake a phone call so they can escape from an annoying person.
Nice people like other nice people.
Nice people don’t put the phone numbers of people they hate in their cell phone so they will show up on caller ID and can be rejected.
Nice people let their snoring husbands sleep with them.
Nice people share.
Nice people don’t have permanent scowl lines.
Nice people give hugs.

To all you nice people - go get a job at Hallmark! Well, I think that pretty well covers it.

The old fashioned way. Diet and excercise.

Yes. It finally happened. Steve and I broke up. Last visit to physical therapy he said he thought I was good and didn’t need to come back. Well ok, I knew that, I just wanted something to force me to keep exercising.

When I started pt at the end of March I was in pretty bad shape. My back was extremely unstable, I was fat and hadn’t exercised since my foot surgery.

After looking at myself in the mirrors at physical therapy I decided I needed to seriously cut calories and lose weight. I started a self imposed 1000 calories a day diet. Today at my morning weigh in I am officially down 37 pounds. YES! Thirty seven! It has been really tough to keep this up, but now the hard part begins. How do I keep the weight off and motivate myself to continue all the exercising?

I do love all of my new muscle. I would never have believed that I could have developed the muscles I have without going to a gym. The other day when I was marveling at my leg and gluteal tone, I told Emerson to feel my muscles and he refused, saying, "I am not touching your butt." Whatever. Maybe Curt will.

Not all is well with losing a large amount of weight at my age. Some things look better, but other things look worse. Face and neck - worse. Legs, butt and arms - better. Still have a fat middle.

Physical Therapy

My doctor thought PT would be good for my back, so about 12 weeks ago I started going to a clinic in town. I am not fond of exercising and ever since my foot surgery (almost two years ago) I have been a major slacker. Well, those days are over.

First visit there, Marlene did my initial evaluation. I thought, “This shouldn’t be too bad, She looks fairly harmless.” I know that I am really out of shape (not that I was ever in shape) and was hoping for a therapist who would be sympathetic when I said, “This is too hard!” Then they would say something like this, “Ok, only do ten instead of twenty.”

Second visit there, I am informed that Steve will be handling my therapy. Wait, Wait, Wait! What happened to Marlene? I take one look at Steve and see my “therapist being sympathetic” concept die. He asks if I am doing 100 bridges. I say, “I am suppose to do 25.” He says, “You need to do 100 even if you have to take some breaks.” Sheesh!

Bridges are really pelvic thrusts. There are a lot of ways to perform them, too. Sometimes I can’t help but smirk when he does a demonstration .

I find it embarrassing to have an audience while exercising and there is nowhere to hide from Steve. He’s extremely adept at noticing my slacking or cheating. I think it has something to do with all of the mirrors they have in that place! Sometimes I am the only patient he has and then he stays with me watching every move I make. I want to say, “Don’t you have some paperwork or something like that to do?”

One day I was balancing on one foot while pulling a red stretchy thing and not being very steady on my left foot, I had to put my right foot down several times to catch myself. This is what he said, “That’s really good that you can keep yourself from falling.” “A lot of elderly people get injured because they are unsteady and can’t catch themselves when they start to fall.”
What the . . .? Did he just call me elderly?

Actually, I really like Steve, even if he does think I’m old enough to be his grandmother!

I am about done with my physical therapy and I have to admit, I will really miss it. If it wasn’t so expensive, I would go forever. Some days I walk in there with a really sore back and it always feels better when I leave. I would even pick a tough therapist. I wouldn’t have come as far with someone who didn’t push me to my limit. (Dang, I hate to admit that).

Dr. Visit

It seems that I switch doctors every two or three years and I guess it’s because I need a clean slate from which to work from. I wonder if that time is approaching again.

I went to the Dr. yesterday to YES, have another urine check. I started panicking about 40 minutes before the appointment so I found a container and decided to put my own personal sample from home in my purse "just in case." I felt like a drug addict trying to sneak urine into the drug testing office. Then I drank a WHOLE ton of water just like Charlotte did so that I would have no excuse not to produce a sizable sample.

I got to the Dr’s office and after sitting in the waiting room for about 10 minutes I knew I wasn’t going to last until they called my name. I explained my problem to the receptionist. She told me to use the bathroom behind her. One of the nurses handed me a cup and I closed the door. Just as I started to fill the cup, it slipped from my hand and FELL into the toilet! Dammit all to hell! Then, of course, I had to fish the dang thing out of the toilet and leave the bathroom without a sample and tell the nurse what had happened.

I chickened out on telling them I had a sample in my purse because I was afraid they would really think I was weird. (I know, I am weird.)

I was hoping to redeem myself after the last visit but to no avail.

Wishing I had Swine Flu

I went to the doctor on Monday because I felt crappy and assumed I had a bladder infection. Sometimes if I knew what the day had in store I would just stay in bed and skip it.

Here’s is how my doctor visit went. After getting my height and weight, I went into the exam room where the nurse asks all sorts of irrelevant questions. After convincing her I didn’t have Swine Flu, she leads me to the bathroom and hands me a specimen cup.

I have never been very good at getting a urine sample, so knowing that I was probably getting an infection I got some paper cups and practiced peeing in them the day before my appointment. So far so good.

I close and lock the bathroom door and then see some weird things in the toilet. Should I flush them or not? (Things like an alcohol wipe and wrapper, band aids, strip of paper and a couple of other weird things) They were small so I decided to go for the flush before I used the toilet, then I washed my hands just in case. In the bathroom is a two way door system for depositing your sample with someone on the other side waiting to pick it up. Just as I started to go, I heard the little door open in an attempt to pick up what I had not yet left. I think the mystery sample collecting person had heard my flush and hand washing and thought I was finished. At this point my bladder froze like a deer in the headlights. That was it. No more! I had two little drops in the bottom of the cup.

Dammit, how am I going to explain TWO drops. Will the person on the other side of the little door think I left an empty cup as some kind of joke?

I left the bathroom and told the waiting nurse I had an unfortunate bladder block and didn’t get much of a sample. Talk about humiliating!

I go back to the exam room to wait for the doctor. CRAP! I sit there wondering what I am going to say to him. I can only hope no one will mention my pathetic attempt and I won’t have to explain anything!

Here it is, one of the most embarrassing doctor appointments I have ever had.

In walks Dr.
Greetings exchanged.
More irrelevant questions.
Still don’t have Swine Flu.
Dr. says I have bladder infection.
Dr. says he needs to culture sample.
Dr. says he needs bigger sample to culture.
Dr. asks me for more.
I say, “Not going to happen”.
Dr. makes sure my kidneys don’t hurt.
Dr. gives me prescription but says a more effective treatment would require a slightly larger specimen.
I hang my head in shame and tell him I feel like I am ten again. Maybe I could drink a lot of water, come back later and try again.
He says, “ Never mind.” “Just call me in two or three days if you don’t feel better.”

I left, vowing not to get sick for a really long time and hope my doctor forgets all about the weird patient he has.

Part two of "the" day!

Traffic is worse on the way home from Baltimore. Unbelievable! We call September and ask her to meet us for dinner at a place on our way because kids are getting fussy and ride is taking WAY too long. We stop at Walmart and grab a couple of things while waiting for September.

We are looking at toys when Eliza falls and Spence grabs her arm. Eliza really starts to cry and hold her wrist. The way she acts I assume her arm is hurt. Finally, September arrives and we decide to go to an Insta Care. Ok, nothing is as easy as it sounds when you factor in the ridiculous traffic. Spence takes one car, I drive the other one with the kids and September. Oh, I forgot that first we all got in one car and sped to a little clinic but there are so many people waiting we decide to go back to Fredericksburg.

Oh my gosh! This is how it went down.

We are all starving.
We are going 10 - 15 mph.
Benjamin starts fussing.
Benjamin vomits.
(Here's where I was glad I was driving).
September stares into the backseat not knowing what to do.
Sweet Benjamin, who is covered in throw up, says, “Napkin?”
We start to laugh. Could things get any worse?
September complains bitterly about trying to mop up vomit from the front seat.
September starts feeling sick because she is so hungry.
We laugh so hard that September starts having contractions.
Finally arrive at insta-care.
Poor Eliza has dislocated elbow.
Clinic fixes elbow.
Spence changes Benjamin’s clothes.
We go to Lone Star Steakhouse.
Spence times September’s contractions.
Thankfully they stop.

I go back to hotel, glad that this day is over.

Day from you know where part one.

We (Me, Spence, Benjamin, and Eliza) started at 9:00 a.m. on our big day out with Thomas the Train. First problem - Thomas was in Baltimore. It is not that it is so far away but it seems like halfway across the world when you factor in traveling on average about 15 miles per hour. How do people live like this?

People in Virginia drive like maniacs. The worst of which is Spencer. I don’t know how he manages without me gasping in horror as we almost ram full speed into the car ahead of us. Next time I have to get some serious medication for the nerves. Two hours fifteen minutes of that.

Ok, you know how I feel about hanging around kids, my grand kids excluded of course. The train station had more kids under the age of five than I have ever seen! Anxiety level started rising. Bathroom had a line of moms and kids that would make even the best bladder tremble. Everything jam packed with little bodies.

All I could see was Swine Flu and more germs than one human should endure in an entire life time. I couldn’t decide whether to hold the camera in my spare hand or the sanitizer. The sanitizer won out. I kept de-germing but the kids kept touching stuff so I’m sure it was a losing battle.

Now, about the actual train ride on Thomas the Train. What is it with the whole Thomas thing? I mean what is the appeal? Ok, I will admit I have only seen about one episode but I wasn’t impressed. He doesn’t even have any super powers, so geeze, why all the hysteria?

We board. We go. Well, I think we went. It was so slow that Eliza kept wanting to de-board because she couldn’t figure out why we were just sitting there. We moved slower than the traffic in VA during rush hour. We rode in a straight line for about nine minutes and then we went back in the same straight line. Thomas couldn’t manage a turn or a hill or much of anything. We did get a certificate. Spence said we couldn’t wrinkle them. I said “Why?” “We could make copies of these and pass them out to anyone walking down the street and they would look the same as the ‘official ones’!” By the way, a real train pulled us out and back in to the station. Thomas didn’t push or pull. What a sham! It was like a fake cardboard Thomas over a real engine.

Chicken nuggets, nachos, souvenirs, back to car and arduous trip home. Day gets longer. Part two of this story tomorrow.

out of time

I am completely out of time right now, but as soon as I can here is what is coming up the the blog. Hair story. Customer story. Buffalo pictures and story. Ambien story. I am writing this so I will remember what to do as soon as I can. Oh, I am sure of a Virginia/airplane story in the making. Hope to get to this soon.

Here are a few pictures from work on April 1, 2009

Katie put all of our heads on sticks for playing pieces for the Game of Life!!

A dog + a vet visit + an overbearing mother + an impertinent teenager + a very old chair + a computer guy = ?

We took Toby to the Veterinarian for a dental. It cost us a lot of money. (Not really important to this story.) We came home with two kinds of pills to be given two times a day. One of the days, Emerson was in charge of the administration of these medications. Not ever being sure if he carries out the precise instructions that have been left with him I grilled him when I got home from work. This is how it went -

Me - "Did Toby get his pills?"
Him - "Yes."
Me - "Are you sure you gave him both of them?"
Him - "Yes."
Me - "Did you put each one of them in a hot dog?"
Him - "Yes."
Me - "Did he eat them?"
Him - "Yes."
Me - "Are you sure?"
Him - "YES! I PUT THE PILLS IN HIS MEDICINE WEENIE AND HE ATE THEM!"

This completely cracked me up. I laughed until I cried about Emerson’s response. He was pretty pleased with himself too, so "medicine weenie" became our little inside joke

Shortly after this we had wireless internet installed. Most of the people around here have the same thing because it is our only option other than dial up. When you have a wireless device and it searches for a network, all of the connections around us show up (btw, they are secure) with names like My Home computer or the last name of whoever lives there so we know who is hooked up. I wanted something anonymous and funny.

Two computer guys showed up to get us started. Computer guy #1 was outside installing a wireless dish and Computer guy #2 was in the computer room with me and Emerson. We started chatting. One of the things he said to us was that we needed to be thinking of a name for our network. Emerson chuckled and said, "How about Medicine Weenie?" So of course I had to explain to Computer guy #2 about the origin of that name. (He probably didn’t want to know but he was trapped.)

Emerson and I then started bantering around all sorts of names. Maybe something with rabbit in it. Rabbit house, Rusty Rabbit, The Rabbit Hole. I thought not anonymous enough. Emerson was sitting on a very old rickety chair that loudly squeaked every move he made. How about Squeaky Chair? Rusty Chair? Squeaky Rabbit? Then Computer guy #2 says, "You could combine your first Idea with squeaky and go for Squeaky Weenie." Oh my Gosh! That launched the three of us into fits of uncontrollable laughter. I said, "hmmmm, I will have to think about that one."

The really funny thing was when Computer Guy #1 finally comes in from outside and sits at our computer, setting it all up and programming whatever it was he needed to program and he comes to the part about what name we are going to use. I say, "What the heck, Squeaky Weenie." He said, "What was that?" I said, "Squeaky Weenie." Computer guy #2, Emerson, and I burst out laughing. Computer guy #1 started to say, "How did . . ." but then paused a moment and simply asked, "How do you want that spelled?"

The only name we thought of that was funnier was Rusty Weenie, but I didn’t want anyone to think I was referring to Curt!

A Real Scare

By the time Katie and I arrived at work we were already a little giddy because it was movie night and we were so excited that Sunday was finally here. That might explain the frequent bouts of laughter that took control of us throughout the shift.


Katie worked really hard on organizing our movie eats in the backroom. Early in the evening she accused me and Stacy of taking up all of the available space getting our plates filled with food, leaving her with no room to load up her own tray. (Whatever!) So every time the store was void of customers, she disappeared and I quickly realized that she was sneaking into the backroom and sampling all of the treats, especially the Little Smokies she had simmering in a crock pot.


Lots of barbs all night and a lot of laughing and more weird customers than the norm. We about died after the fourth unbelievably obnoxious couple. (Yes, they came in pairs this time.)


Here is the incident where things almost took a nasty turn. This guy hands Katie his purchase. I was standing by the register. Katie rattles off this really fast - two at $1.50, one at $2.00, no, I mean two at $2.00 and two at $3.50 and one at $.50. I got the first thing rung up but the rest just whizzed by me. I guess I couldn’t process all those similar sounding numbers that fast and I told her to slow down. She really slowed it down and we started to laugh. Hysterical laughter, not being able to breath laughter, doubling over laughter, completely out of control laughter. The customer gave us the stink eye and we could see that he was not amused. I handed Katie the register receipt and She tells him the total. Then he says to Katie, "Could you check that?" That is when I really lost it and almost peed my pants. I guess he didn’t think I could ring up his huge fifteen dollar purchase and laugh at the same time.

This is the scary part. When I say I almost wet my pants I mean I really almost wet my pants.


The guy we were helping was already thoroughly disgusted with us so I can't imagine the situation getting worse but it almost did! Anyway, that thought was scarier than any movie I could have watched.


P.S. I don’t think rambunctious laughter is good for a bad back.

SWIT ladies gone wild

I think the late night movie thing has gotten out of control. Two of the crazy girls I work with are always up for partying so if anyone even suggest something we all chime in and say "Yes, Yes, Yes!" What idiots we are. Thankfully, no one has suggested running down main street at midnight naked but you never know what will happen if we get bored enough. I suppose we should take advantage of the opportunity to have fun because soon, Katie will be off to summer camp and my back should improve enough that I might actually get some work done.

The Sunday night movie at work was great as usual. One of the movies we watched was Wait Until Dark with Audrey Hepburn. We really liked it and it was fairly scarey. Truth be told I really don’t like scary movies, that is why we are sticking to the oldies. They are fairly bland. Katie did fall asleep during the second feature and started snoring. I guess the late nights are taking their toll!

I went to bed at about 3 a.m. and had trouble falling asleep! Really, who can’t go to sleep after 3 a.m. when they have been up all day! Anyway, I got up at 7:30 to get ready for physical therapy.

Physical Therapy - the first thing the therapist noticed was that I was crooked. She said that I had one leg longer than the other. (Holy crap, I am deformed) She gave me a little lift to put in one shoe to help straighten me out. Then they made me do some exercises. UHG!

The next day when I got to work, I asked Raette if I looked any straighter. (It was meant as a joke) She said, "walk." I did and then she said, "You don’t have that little limp anymore."

WHAT! All of this time I have been walking with a limp, dragging my long leg around like IGOR and no one ever told me? Gosh, I think someone might have pointed this out! Anyway, I will be looking into what it takes to qualify for a handicap parking pass!

Back to therapy tomorrow.

A movie and a MRI

After work last night Katie, Stacy and I watched Psycho. It was kind of cheesy. We ended up laughing at way too much of it. We did have some mighty good snacks though. That Stacy, she truly knows how to serve up the goodies! There is a problem with seating at the store. We just don’t have any comfy chairs. We did have a couple of fantastic leather chairs but Raette sold them. Gosh, what was she thinking. We do, however, have a chair made out of antlers that with the right pillows isn't too bad.

I decided I had to buy a chaise lounger just for our movie night and glad I did. It was SO much better than trying to sit in a bad chair for hours. I think we have all of the technical stuff figured out, i.e., food, blankets, pillows, lights, seating, snack trays and who's not in charge of popcorn (Miss margarine Katie). On to next week. We have had several good suggestions concerning the next movie. It has got to be scarier than Psycho!

I went to bed at about 2 am and then had to be at a medical place for an x-ray and MRI of my back by 6:30 am. Sheesh, who schedules x-rays at that hour in the morning? If you take into account the recent time change it was actually 5:30 am. I mean really! I just read on the internet that more people have heart attacks during the week after daylight savings time kicks in. I could have had a heart attack getting up that early in the morning. Ok, I didn’t, but I COULD have. Anyway, can’t wait til Wed to see what the Dr. says.

Lucky Customer

Here is what happened Sunday at work. Katie and I get to work about four o’clock to take over for the day shift girls i.e., hot party girl Amanda and se*y Brazilian Silvia. Somehow we started talking about b**bs. I think this is what happened, Katie asked Silvia what shirt she was wearing under her sweatshirt. Silvia shows us what she is wearing. Ooh la la!! FYI, Silvia has fantastic fake breasts (seriously, we are all jealous). Katie decides she wants to see what they feel like so she asks Silvia if she can touch them. Katie proceeds to place one hand on her own b**b (she wants to do a comparison) and her other hand on Silvia’s chest. The store is almost empty of customers, just one twenty something guy that Amanda is helping. Amanda, being stalwart, is wrapping and boxing his purchase while listening to the *rgy that is happening right behind her back.

Here is how it went down -
Silvia - showing off her goods.
Katie - touching said goods.
Me - in shock and awe.
Amanda - managing to keep a straight face.
Customer - having the best shopping day of his life.

Sunday night fun

Had a blast last night, but Katie already wrote about our movie madness. Here is a link to her blog. Can't say it any better than she did! http://katielyn2403.blogspot.com/

Trip to the Grocery Store

I finally took time to hit the grocery store where I made a serious dent in our snack reserve deficit. Here is what I bought-- three Lindt milk chocolate with hazelnut candy bars, some Chip Ahoy and Nutter Butter cookies, Fresca and limeaide, I snuck in some Dr. Pepper with that, Triscuits to go with my squeeze cheese, Fritos, (already have bean dip) ranch flavored Doritos, regular Lay's potato chips, Tostidos to go with the Salsa Con Queso I have in the cupboard, and three boxes of swiss cake rolls.

I did supplement the junk food with bananas, celery, grapes and various other healthy stuff which will probably go to waste. Whatever! This will probably last us less than one week because what happens is this - I go to work a couple of nights in a row and then try to find something to snack on and there is nothing left. I never do find out who ate it all because if I ask Curt he says he didn't eat anything and Emerson always says "I only had a couple." So, they are either lying or I am sleepwalking and eating it all without knowing it.

Good and bad things about road trips

Good things
1. Having your own car to keep all your junk in.
2. Stopping when you want to.
3. Packing lots of goodies and blankets and comfy pillows. Eating lots of goodies.
4. No security checks
5. No sitting by scary or creepy people or kids on an airplane.
6. Having a great new camera to capture everything on.
7. Taking car naps.
8. Going in February because nothing is crowded.
9. Coming home to grateful pets.
Bad things
1. Having no viewfinder on your new camera so you basically can’t shoot when it is bright. Which included, the whale trip, ocean creatures, elephant seals on the beach and everything that is bright. Stupid camera.
2. Having to pay for everything- parking, lighthouse, parking, tips, 17 mile toll roads, bridges, and parking. I can’t believe they didn’t have some sort of money collection station by the elephant seals!
3. Having to stay in seedy hotel by the highway. Losing four dollars in seedy hotel slot machine.
4. Not finding a bathroom when you need one.
5. Hotels that say they have internet service but don’t tell you until you get there it is only free in the lobby.
6. Not buying that silver bracelet and sea otter mouse pad I wanted, but buying several things that I didn’t want.
7. Weighing in after trip.
8. Looking at the credit card bill and not remembering all those things you charged.

Below video is of Curt and the bunny.

The Way Home

Above picture is of Emerson at the wheel. Notice correct 10 and 2 o'clock hand placement.

I filled out a complaint card before I left the hotel to tell them how crappy they were. That made me feel better. Like an idiot, I put four dollars in their crappy slot machine and didn’t hit the jackpot so they will never see me again.

It felt great to climb in the car and head for home. YES!!! Sheldon is seriously tired of taking care of our pets.

Curt let Emerson drive for about 40 minutes and I only screeched once from the back seat. The picture of the road sign is where I was busy trying to draft a Will.

We stopped only for gas on the way home and still didn’t get in until almost 7:00 pm.

Only one little incident I want to mention. The last gas station where we filled up was Eagle’s Landing in Scipio. I went to the ladies room, chose the handicap stall and then realized (too late) that there wasn’t any toilet paper. There wasn’t even a dispenser. I couldn’t even see where one had been attached to the wall. So if you pretend you are handicapped like I do, or even if you are truly disabled, don’t use the handicap stall at Eagle’s Landing in Scipio because they don’t think you need any toilet paper! (Idiots)

I tallied up our gasoline bill on the drive back and it cost us $225 to drive to and from and all over California. Not too bad. On reflection, the only place I would revisit is Monterey.

Now, back to reality. Tomorrow is Sunday and two weeks ago I told my primary class I would bring them a treat and they asked for Tic Tacs. Funny kids. I said they could each have their own little box. Ever since, I have tried to find those little boxes. Not being up to date on my Tic Tac news, I now see that they have enlarged the little box into a much bigger box which I think is too much candy and money. I finally found some of the small boxes at a convenience store in CA but they wanted $1.29 per box. I don’t think so. What a pain! That is the last time I let seven year olds make an important decision like what treat they want!

Six days on the road

Our trip is starting to get tiring. I am however feeling better today which is a relief. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed. We were out the door and at Carl Jr’s by 7:30 this morning hoping to make a dent in our drive home. We traveled down highway one along the California coast. It was so beautiful, although the sheer drop offs were kind of scary. We did make a couple of stops to take pictures but after a while I started getting car sick because the road was so windy and so many ups and downs. It was taking way too long and we still had plans to go to Hearst Castle.

The one stop we made that was incredible was looking at tons (literally) of elephant seals all along the beach. We were so close to them. It was fantastic. One male got too close to another male’s harem and there was a bit of a chase off, but nothing too intense. We loved it!

We did make it to Hearst Castle, but I was thinking about a 45 minute visit instead of the two hour tour they make you take. So after lunch, the $50 tour, and of course the gift shop we REALLY were late in getting back on the road.

One funny thing that happened when we got to the car. I sat in the front seat and then looked out my window and this raven was sitting right by the car door with such an irresistible look that I had to find a cracker to give him, but as soon as I threw him a bite of cracker another one showed up, then another and then all of a sudden every raven in San Simeon descended on us. I told Curt to drive away as fast as he could because the scene looked just like something from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. EERIE!

As far as the castle tour, it was interesting but I couldn’t help thinking the whole time we should be leaving.

On our way back to some sort of civilization we drove across California, highway 46 and came to an oil field with hundreds of working oil pumps. It was such a sight. I have never seen anything like it. Haven’t been to Iraq, but really, do you think they have more machines (and didn’t Saddam burn them all up anyway) than California? Well, I guess they might, but I was surprised to see that gas wasn’t any cheaper just down the street from that massive oil collection site.

Going home has been so slow. It is 10:00 pm and we are still on the road. I watched the last installment of Foyle’s War and one episode of Sharpe’s Army and now I am typing on the computer so I have been fairly occupied. But I am about done for, so I think that the next hotel we see might be the place we will spend the night. I hope one shows up soon.

Whiskey Pete’s. I stood in line to get a room but they were taking too long and my patience ran out, besides, I looked at all the people in line (one lady was so drunk she was running into things) and thought I should go somewhere else. We drove across the street to Buffalo Bill’s. They were fast and got us a room but . . . I now take back anything bad I said about the other places I stayed. For $79 plus tax, this is about as crappy as it gets. I can’t wait until morning so I can LEAVE. Curt thought we might have to get hepatitis shots before heading home!

Five and counting

Do you see that whale out there. Me neither.

We were waiting to see if the weather would cooperate before we committed to a whale watching tour and today was perfect. The tour started off the Monterey Fisherman’s Wharf. This is a really cool place. There are lots of little shops and restaurants. We left on the boat about 10:00 am and rode out to sea. Here is what I was worried about, first - sea sickness, second - pirates, and third - an unworthy sea craft.

First worry - YEA!, YAHOO! That expensive seasick patch I got a prescription for worked! We really rocked and rolled on that boat and I didn't even get nauseous.

Second worry - I have heard a lot about pirates on the high seas taking passengers as hostages in exchange for money. OK, nothing happened but when I saw all the foreigners with their big fancy cameras I thought some bad guy might want to take over the boat and steal their cameras! (Which would have pleased me because people with elaborate cameras think they are better than those of us with the plain point and shoot and they push their way into the best picture taking places and then when I try to get a picture I end up taking one of the back of their head.)

Third worry - I am terrified of the ocean and all its creatures, so I don’t want to end up in it because of some sort of incident, so while deciding which boat to go out on I picked that one that look the sturdiest. It must have been the right choice because I am still here!

We did see at least three gray whales (quite far away actually, which is good because I didn't have to worry about one tipping over the boat) but what I really wanted to see was a dolphin. There was a mother otter with a baby we spotted on our way back. At first the baby was along side of her then it climbed on her for a ride. Wow! So cute, I hope they didn't get eaten by a shark.

After the excursion we decided we would eat somewhere at the wharf but we got ambushed by all the restaurant people trying to coax us into their café. Too much pressure, so we had to leave and eat in our hotel room instead!

Curt and I drove to a lighthouse that was just down the street and then we decided to try out the 17 mile drive. We didn’t know this but the drive is some kind of state park so we had to pay $9.25 to get in. Isn’t that a strange amount? Why not just gouge us for ten bucks?

We have spent so much money in California that I think I deserve a thank you note from Governor Schwarzenegger because we have seriously made a dent in that big deficit they have.

vaca #4

Fish are kind of ugly. I don't know why I don't have a picture of an otter.

Today was beautiful. We spent the day at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. The only hitch was trying to decide where to park, which the place I chose ended up being the best, so all was well with that! (ha! ha!) It was a calm day and we spotted a whale in the bay along with lots of otters and sea birds. The otters on display couldn’t have been any cuter. Only one complaint - I wonder if they have ever considered an adult only day.

We bought a bunch of souvenirs and stopped at all the fun little shops on Cannery Row which was on the way back to the car. There was a candy shop that had my favorite - a chocolate ice cube - WOW! I haven’t had that little treasure for years. I think my favorite part of the day - was popping that yummy gem of chocolate in my mouth.

Our hotel is only about a mile away so it was an easy commute. I have been struggling with a cold and cough so I am getting tired of running around.

Tomorrow is a big day. I will get to see if the sea sick patch really works. Last time I got on a boat I spent the whole time on the lower level with my face in a barf bag. Can’t wait to see what happens.

Day three - Alcatraz and Fisherman's Wharf

First picture - Alcatraz from San Francisco then San Francisco from Alcatraz.

We walked to Pier 39 from our hotel. Convenient since we didn’t have access to our car. Went to Alcatraz which was interesting. Did a lot of walking, realized how out of shape I am, ate lunch, checked out of the hotel, then went to Ghirardelli Square to see what the chocolate situation was.

Curt didn’t want to go so he sat in the car and read maps while Emerson and I scoped out the goods. One little mishap, I put money in the wrong parking meter. I swore a couple times, laughed and then put more money in the right one. Gosh! Sometimes I feel like such an idiot.
I don’t really like Ghirardelli Chocolate so I bought cupcakes instead of chocolate. The cupcake was yummy but why did they have to put raisins in it? A carrot cake cupcake doesn’t need raisins. Nothing needs raisins. (My only complaint of the day)

Drove to Monterey.

Day two

We left Reno at 10:30 am. It was "wash my hair day" so I was the reason for the late start. Our route took us on I-80 toward San Francisco, through Donner Pass. We started toward the Pass when traffic slowed to about two miles per hour. A big storm ahead. Big rigs lined the highway to chain up. If you didn’t have a four wheel drive you were suppose to chain up too. Wow! It looked like it was going to be one heck of a ride. We drove the two mph forever. There ended up being about a ½ inch of slush for about one mile of the entire way, the rest of the time it was just wet! What a bunch of wussies. No one would even slow down in Utah for that piddly storm. It took us over two hours to go about 20 miles.
The problem I had in the middle of this was my fear of an exploding bladder. The same phobia that Bob has in What About Bob. One small problem, it wasn’t my imagination. The situation begin blossoming into a DEFCON 1 emergency with no stops, bathrooms, or gas stations to be found. We finally found one station off the pass with a line to the potty a mile long. I couldn’t wait. I had to do something drastic. I resorted my own devices which wasn’t pretty but what do ya do? Let’s just say it involved an empty big gulp cup!
Map quest said our drive would be three and one half hours. We didn’t get to SF until 4:30 pm. Gosh, I thought we had taken a wrong turn or something. I couldn’t believe it when we came around a curve and there it was - the big red cabled Golden Gate Bridge. Fantastic! We walked out onto it, took some pictures then ran back to the car. It is cold and rainy and I am a boob about that sort of thing. Tomorrow is going to be the same so we will see how we do after two and one half hours on Alcatraz.
Next, on to our lodgings. Curt was pretty amazing at navigating our way to the Sheraton Fisherman’s Wharf Hotel that I had booked online, but as we got closer I started to worry about parking. I thought I had read that the hotel had parking but all the hotels we were passing had very limited space. Wouldn’t you know, they charged us $49 just to park, (jerks) we had to use the valet, so there was a tip and then another tip to the bellboy. Gosh, this is already the most expensive hotel we are staying in, so I am not very happy. Oh, another thing, no microwave, so no way to heat up our cooler food. I hate this place. Oh, while I am complaining, no free internet except in the lobby, a small room, (kinda cute though, decorated Pottery Barn style -small wonder) and I don’t know where my new car is! Can you believe it? Stupid city. (Kind of reminds me of Park City during Sundance) I don’t think I will be coming back here.
Curt just said that the car is underneath the hotel in some kind of underground parking. I hope there is not an earthquake because the hotel will fall down and smash my car and then I will REALLY be unhappy because I will have no way to leave.

Me After a Drive with a 15 year old!!!

Day one of our vacation to California. We FINALLY left Park City about 11:00 am. (Of course I was ready the night before.) Emerson had misplaced both of his coats, so we had kind of a test with that one. The first stop we made was at a gas station, Curt filled the tank while Emerson and I went inside. It was the coolest place. They had all sorts of junky knickknacks and the most interesting array of food. We didn’t really need to buy anything because I had packed sandwiches to eat along the way but they had a pretzel wrapped hotdog that was GIGANTIC (I will forgo all the jokes) and we couldn’t resist! This was the Flying J Truck Stop in Salt Lake so we really hadn’t made it very far, but I was already in the tourist mode!
The next stage of our drive was rather grueling. I watched one episode of Foyle’s War. It is sooo great, this is one of my favorite shows. We finally stopped in Elko for refueling and this is when Curt decided Emerson could get in some much needed driving time. (I have to admit, we haven’t taken him out driving much.)
I sat in the back seat with headphones and another episode of Foyle’s War and Curt sat up front to dole out driving instructions. I don’t know why, but Emerson likes to hug the right side of the lane which either means he is about an inch away from the rumble strip or if in an inside lane, scarily close to the big rig next to us. After about an hour and twenty minutes, Curt put an end to the driving lesson. GOSH, was I ever grateful. He told Emerson to pull over at the next exit, which was Golconda (somewhere in Nevada) and I can’t believe the t-post they line the freeway with are still standing in that particular area. Curt had to reach over and give a little help with the steering wheel because we were SOOOO close!
We are now in our hotel room, which is really nice, with 520 miles under our belt. I did forget my toothbrush however and just got a complimentary one from the hotel. It is so crappy that it is like trying to brush your teeth with a feather. Obviously, one should read their notes when packing and I think I will buy myself a new one tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. I have a blog

I wondered how long it would take before I kind of forgot about the blogging thing. It seems like a lot of work, besides I have really been keeping an eye on the Facebook thing. It is so fast to post a little note and then check on all your friends and I don't have to think too hard. (I hate that thinking stuff).

I have written down several stories from the store, but I fear they are not as funny as the first ones. I will post a couple of them now and a couple more in a few days.

I thought since I was making fun of the people I meet at work that I would even things out and reveal one of the many embarrassing things I do. I do this all the time. Customer walks in, I greet, I walk to other end of counter, turn around, see a person, greet person, get funny look, ask person if I already asked how they were 10 seconds before, they say “yes” I say, “I must really care about you.” GEEEZE!

Enough about me, now the customer stuff.

The other night a man was looking at our Indian rugs. I went back to see if he needed any help. Here’s how it went.
Me – “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Customer - “Well, I have a table that needs something like this, (pointing to small rug) what would you call this?”
Me – “I would call it a table runner.”
Customer – “Oh yeah, a table runner.” “The table I need it for is teakwood and it is this long and this wide.” “I really want to introduce some red.” “My walls are green, not this green, a little lighter, maybe more like this green just softer.” They look like rock because I had a guy come paint my walls with this plaster stuff.” “The table is a teakwood,
ME -- “Yes, I know what teakwood is.”
(Continuing) - the trim around the room is wood, kind of what you have here but maybe a little darker.” “Well, not too much darker, maybe it is about the same.” “My floors are wood, too.” “Let’s pretend this is my room, I have a mahogany leather couch here, another leather chair on this side and one more chair over here.”

At this point my eyes are glazed over and I am wondering how the hell I am going to get away from this one. We talked some more, I heard more details, got out several runners for him to look at, told him I would check back after I helped some other customers. Luckily for me, there WERE other customers that needed help so I never did “check back”, and he never did buy a rug.
NOTE TO MYSELF: Remember not to go on and on and on to people you don’t even know, especially when all you want is a table runner.

This woman was shopping in our store with her two kids. They looked at some stuff and wanted to know what was real. What do people mean when they say that? Does it look like all of the merchandise in our store is a figment of their imagination? The kids were nice but the mother was, well, strange. One of the things they bought was a fish fossil. “Is this real?” “Yes.” “How do you know?” “Because it came from a fossil quarry in Wyoming.” “How do they know it is real?” “Because they dug it out of the sandstone themselves and btw, it is 50 million years old.” “How do you know how old it is?” “Because we hire a paleontologist to carbon date all of our merchandise.” “I’m sorry, but I have to go help someone else now and if you want to know why it is because you are driving me crazy.”

We are not a discount store but we still get asked this all the time - “How much is this?” “$9.99." “How much is it if I buy two?” “Still $9.99." “How much is it if I buy three?” “Let’s see, we will sell you three for $29.97."

That is better than the ones that don’t want to pay at all. One problem is the replica pipes we sell. Several teenagers came in during the Sundance chaos and hung around the area with the pipes. It is right in front of the cash register, so I didn’t move, told them I would help them with anything they needed so they would know they were being watched. FINALLY, they left the pipes and went upstairs. The girl had a little coin purse from the toy area in her hand before she went up there and when she came down she didn’t have it. As she was leaving, Katie asked her if she wanted to pay for the coin purse and she (very flustered) said “Oh, I forgot about that” and then pulled it out of her pocket. So Katie nailed her for $3.50 and they didn’t get a pipe either! Yahoo for Katie’s crime fighting!

Marathon Day

Today while Larry fixed my car, here are all the places Donna and I went. Tai Pan Trading, (they trade their crap for your money), Paradise Bakery for lunch, (OH, those sugar cookies), Target, (checked out the clearance), Wood Connection Furniture Store, Wood Connection Outlet Store, Wood Connection Wood Store, (weird little theme going on there), Right At Home, (to look at all the painted furniture that came from the landfill), Gardner Village, (to buy a flower thing I saw there last week, which wasn't there anymore), Dollar Tree, (I bought 20 things for 20 dollars), picked up some prescriptions, (no good pain pills or anything like that), and then back to Donna’s. Yippee!!! I think this is a record for number of stores visited in one day!

I've done it again (something stupid that is)

I had quite a busy day today, but finally made it to work just before my shift at four in the afternoon. Soon after arriving, Raette asked me why I had two different earrings on. SHOOT! You've got to be kidding. In one ear I had a small square turquoise and black earring and in the other ear a large oval turquoise and brown earring. I had been running around all day like this. See, I just don't pay attention to the little details. I am sure I will be Ok for a little while, then I will forget all about this episode and do it again.

I love a day out.

I went to Gardner Village the other day with Donna and Stacy. I love that place. If I ever move to Salt Lake I want a job at their big country store so I can spend my whole check there every week. The only problem is I don’t really want to do any work and I don’t want to be nice to customers. Maybe I will rethink that idea. In the meantime, I will go there and spend Curt’s check. Ha! Ha!

"Here it Comes"

When you are young and you do strange things it is funny. When you get to be my age and do strange things, eyebrows are raised, and you can see your family thinking “oh no, here it comes”.

Case in point - I work with Katie who is much younger than I am. But after this week she is wondering if she can be my friend or needs to be my nursemaid. A few days ago she was in my driveway waiting for me to come out so we could go to work. Just before she was supposed to arrive I looked in the mirror at my many layers of shirts (because it is so cold) and realized I had forgotten my bra! I couldn’t believe it! So while Katie waited in the driveway, I had to strip off all of my layers and put on what was needed. (reminded me of a bad dream)

Yesterday, she picked me up again for another work related errand. As we drove off, she said, “Nice hair.” I looked in her mirror and saw that I had not done anything with my hair. GOSH! She handed me a white comb that was dirty looking. I said, “No thanks.” She swore it wasn’t dirty, just covered with dark hair dye. (She IS a hairdresser so I guess that could have been the case.) Then she scrounged around on the floor of her back seat for a time and came up with a broken headband. I was desperate so I said "Yes" to that one.

She just sighed and I think I could see her thinking, “here it comes.”

Brrrrrr!

I just drove home from work (10:30 pm) and it is -15 degrees! What is up with that? Aren't you glad you don't have my heat bill? At 11 am this morning my car thermometer said 28 degrees when I pulled the car out of the garage. By the time I got to church (which is 4 minutes) my temperature reading was -6.