Customer Service or Not!

I have decided to keep a running total of the strange things people say to me at work. I have to admit that I say some pretty stupid things back.

Here is what happens most of the time.
Me – “How are you today?” Them – “I am fine, how are you?” Me – “Fine, thank you.”
Here is the problem.
Me – “How are you today?” Them – “I am fine.” Me – “Fine, thank you.”
I always feel like such an idiot when I do that.

Now, moving on to some of the more interesting comments from customers that I have encountered. A little background for this one. I work in a really cool shop that locals and tourists just love. We have TONS of merchandise, from 50¢ rocks and arrowheads to thousand dollar works of art. We have more souvenirs and jewelry than any store I have ever been in. So one night a guy walks in looks around and then asks, “Do you know if there is a souvenir shop in town?” (BTW, he was serious). I said, “No, not that I am aware of.” Gosh!

Sheldon, (who also worked at the store for a couple of years) had a lady that bought an antler chandelier and then asked him if he thought she could carry it on the plane. He said, “I’m sure you won’t have any problems.”

We sell some beautiful Indian headdresses that are handmade by Navajo artists. They sit on a custom stand that has a base piece of wood with a large dowel holding the headdress three or four feet off the ground. Customer -- “Do you sell the stand that the headdress sits on without the headdress?” Me – “Yes, we will sell you the stand and then we will lay the feathered headdress on the floor for display and you will have a custom made dowel sticking out of a big piece of wood.” SHEESH!!!!

Right now we have about 15 inches of snow with more on the way and it is about 10° on a good day. I don’t know what this guy was thinking, but a man came in last night and wanted to know if we had a palm tree or anything with a palm tree. Hummmmm, maybe we could fly one in for you from Vegas. Maybe you could fly yourself to a gift shop in Hawaii, I bet they have something there. Hey wait, try the deli up the street!

Some customers come into the store after they have had a lot to drink. (Not necessarily bad for business.) One late evening a woman came in and looked at some arrowhead jewelry. She said, “What pretty Christmas Trees.” I said, “Those are arrowheads.” She said, “Oh, they look like little trees.” I said, “They’re little trees if you want them to be little trees.” She said, “Maybe I will come back tomorrow.” I thought, “Good idea.”

We sell gag gift million dollar bills for one dollar. They sit right next to the cash register. Here are things that customers say when they see them. BTW, I have heard these comments hundreds of times.

Kid – “Is this real.”
Me – “Yes!”
Kid’s older brother – “You're so stupid, they are not going to give you a million dollars for one dollar.”
(I love older brothers.)

Customer – “Look, a thousand dollar bill.”
Me – “It’s a million.”

Customer – “Can I pay with this?” “You can keep the change.”
Me – “Ya know I’ve never heard that one before?”
Customer – “I’m glad I was the first.”
Me – “Ugggh.”

Customer – “They don’t print these anymore do they?”
Me – “Nope, these are a limited edition.”

Another gag gift we sell is an envelope of snake eggs. Yeah, that’s right snake eggs. What is in the envelope are rice (a.k.a. – snake eggs) and a rubber band tension bar that you wind up, place back in the envelope and then wait for someone to open it. If done right, the jump factor is quite effective. Here we go with more comments and questions.

Customer – “If you put these in the freezer the eggs won’t hatch.”
Me – “That’s right, frozen rice has a hard time hatching into anything.”

Customer – “Why would anyone want snake eggs?” “Why would anyone want snake eggs and a rubber band?”
Me – “It’s a joke.” (Gosh, get a LIFE!)

Customer – “Can we take these on the plane?”
Me – “Yes, but make sure they don’t get wet, you never know what might happen.”

For a real laugh try explaining the whole snake egg-wind up rubber band thing to a foreigner!
(They think you are nuts)

This just happened tonight -
Customer – “That bright orange jewelry is really pretty. What kind of stone is that?”
Me – “It’s not a stone, it is spiney oyster shell.”
Customer – “So, what kind of stone did you say that was?”

Ok, I think this post is long enough. I will start a new tally of things that happen at work and post again in a couple of weeks.