NICE, who needs it!

I don’t like being labeled as "nice". It’s just too hard to live up to. Someone who is under the impression that I am nice might catch a glimpse of me doing something not so nice and then what? I think it is ok if you say to me, "That was a nice thing to do." Calling my action nice is ok. Calling me nice is not ok. I like being called funny. I would hope to be able to live up to that label, but that’s the only term I can tolerate.

Reasons I am not nice -

Nice people don’t swear.
Nice people don’t make fun of other people.
Nice people like kids.
Nice people perform random acts of kindness.
Nice people don’t talk too much about themselves.
Nice people aren’t happy when someone gets what they deserve.
Nice people think of others first.
Nice people don’t hope the neighbor’s dog chokes on a chicken bone.
Nice people say they are happy for you and actually mean it.
Nice people are good sports.
Nice people don’t make their kids fake a phone call so they can escape from an annoying person.
Nice people like other nice people.
Nice people don’t put the phone numbers of people they hate in their cell phone so they will show up on caller ID and can be rejected.
Nice people let their snoring husbands sleep with them.
Nice people share.
Nice people don’t have permanent scowl lines.
Nice people give hugs.

To all you nice people - go get a job at Hallmark! Well, I think that pretty well covers it.